Pamphlets from Beyond

Found at work, while cleaning a pay phone (I will be blasted off this planet for sure):

Science Confirms the Bible!
(Bear in mind that the Bible was written 2,000-3,000 years ago)
The Bible: The Earth is a Sphere
Science: The Earth is a Sphere

The Bible: Incalculable number of stars
Science: Incalculable number of stars

The Bible: Free float of Earth in Space
Science: Free float of Earth in Space

The Bible: Creation made of invisible elements
Science: Creation made of invisible elements (atoms)

The Bible: Each star is different
Science: Each star is different

The Bible: Light moves
Science: Light moves

The Bible: Air has weight
Science: Air has weight

The Bible: Winds blow in cyclones
Science: Winds blow in cyclones

The Bible: Blood is the source of life and health
Science: Blood is the source of life and health

The Bible: Ocean floor contains deep valleys and mountains
Science: Ocean floor contains deep valleys and mountains

The Bible: Ocean contains springs
Science: Ocean contains springs

The Bible: When dealing with disease, hands should be washed under running water
Science: When dealing with disease, hands should be washed under running water

Funny how they don't mention anything about the age of the earth, the development of life forms, the earth rotating around the sun...

And another thing, they included a third comparison, to Science "Then" (pre-Renaissance, mainly), which looks to me like saving face. "OH, YOU SEE, THE BIBLE SPREAD SCIENTIFICALLY ACCURATE INFORMATION ALL ALONG, SO IT IS IN NO WAY AN INSPIRATION TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO BURNED WITCHES IN ITS NAME NOPE NOPE NOT AT ALL".

Talkin' Gossip, Videagames, Internets #2

I'm certainly glad they fell for them and not any of those fake women running around.

****

Rock Band full initial track list revealed. Wait, wait, wait...So we got a great Stones song, a great Bowie song, a great Who song, a great Molly Hatchet song, a great Blue Oyster song, MY FAVORITE PIXIES SONG, a great R.E.M. song, Radiohead (not Radiohead-quality Radiohead, but some form of Radiohead is good), MY FAVORITE SMASHING PUMPKINS SONG, Black Hole Sun, and THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS OH YES YES YES. And people are complaining about this? Okay, I see it if they were complaining about the fact that the 60s only has one song, or that there are some that it uses some the same songs as Guitar Hero III, somewhat lessening its unique identity. But no, most of the complaints seem to be that most of these are well-known (as far as I can tell about these comments), and that people don't like Fallout Boy. Boo hoo. NEW PORNOGRAPHERS.


*****

#2

The Buffalo Beast

I admit that, some times, many times, I can be a very angry believer in my beliefs. This has thoroughly mitigated by the reading of many political debate threads on the many forums I've lurked, and through insightful news articles and blogs that show me the world and the morons that infest it. The angriest of these sources, however, has to be the Buffalo Beast.

How does a central Canadian boy such as myself come across the website of a Buffalo, New York alternative newspaper? Simple, really: it was linked at the official web page of Bob the Angry Flower, my absolute favoritest webcomic. It can found in a bizarrely structured sentence at the bottom of the page.

I'd say Bob and The Beast share a certain kind of humor, the BB uses it for satire rather than surrealist nonsense. Humor is a good reason why I stuck with the site: its damn funny. Read their annual onslaught against human decay in "The 50 Most Loathsome People in America", and laughter will help keep your mind off the horror of it all.

Of course, there are also lots of well-researched, rather disheartening articles alongside as well. These guys are unabashed, angry liberals, and they make sure you know it at every turn. I agree with a lot of their points, though, so I don't mind.

There's much interesting reading there for people who care. If you don't, their comedic stuff should still work for you. Or maybe it won't. I can't tell you, what do I look like, a mind reader?

Talkin' Internets #1

#1
Behind the Sofa

I only became a Doctor Who fan about two years ago, when I spent every night one summer watching the classic Tom Baker episodes that played on BBC Kids (which was being run as a free preview channel), following Red Dwarf. I wasn't really a 'fan' at that point, but the series interested me. I became a true fan after that, when I became hooked on the revival series. And so, I will now interject "EXTER-MENATE!" into random sentences, much to the chagrin of fellow homo sapiens.

What I'm trying to get at is, becoming a Doctor Who fan is what led me to this website, a blog where many different Doctor Who fans review Doctor Who episodes. Now, that may not sound entertaining, but where the fun comes in is in the fact that these are bitter, caustic fans, who leave no piece of cheese unmocked, and are completely willing to rip apart their favorite show when it deserves it. But it's not a hate-filled, fanboy rage site either, as these reviews are all for fun.

Its actually been a while since I've been there. But, I remember that their podcasts were hysterical when I was a regular. It's quite unfortunate I wasn't around to read their impressions of Torchwood...guaranteed good time, right there.

Birthday Post

I have a headache now.

I am actually planning a series that will keep me writing stuff here. Basically, I'll do some pieces on websites I've visited or visit regularly. And I don't like all of them. I'll try to get one of those done tomorrow.

So, happy birthday to me.

I needed the relaxation

My newest abomination:



For your information, here are the far superior videos others have made:

Old Questions

A remember a while back someone on a Internet message board asked what everyone's top 5 bands from the 90s are. I just recently remembered it, and now I feel like answering it:

1. Grandaddy
2. The Weakerthans
3. Sloan
4. Modest Mouse
5. The (International) Noise Conspiracy

Glad to get that off my chest.

Dreamtime!

Okay, Saturday night/morning, I think I have my new favorite bizarre dream.

It starts in a gym, a combination of my horribly small grade school gym and my much larger high school gym. Apparently, we (by which I means myself and a group of people I don't think I know) are fighting Starship Trooper-esque bug monsters from another dimension. Of course, most of the action is happening on the other side of the gym, hidden behind a curtain. A flying bug monster does crash through the curtain and into a wall, though. I have sent away from the battle for being a foul up, although I don't know what I did to get that. I walk out of the gym, distraught.

Looking for sympathy, I head to an unknown house, and into its basement. There, I tell the Thing, Dr. Doom, and Mole Man of my plight(!). Of course, they could care less, so once again I am alone in the world.

Where to next? Just outside the local movie theatre, where I just loiter in the parking lot. I even remember seeing some of the movie posters set up on the outer walls of the theatre...I think one was a sequel to Over the Hedge, a movie I have not seen, but whatever. Looking across town, I see signs that gymnasium-dimensional-bug-battle was not going well. In response, I decide to get gathering family and friends and hightail it outta there.

Most of the stuff is pretty great, but visiting Thing/Doom/Mole Man trolling for sympathy? That rockets this dream into the hall of fame. Sorry 'My Schoolyard as the Planet of the Apes with an Ant lion monster' dream, but you have been usurped.

In other news, Reunion Tour is an awesome album. I honestly hope I can stretch that out to 200 words for The Quill by Wednesday.

Halloweeny Type Stuff

If you remember, and I totally understand if you don't, I wrote about 7-11's overpriced Halloween-themed slurpee straws last year. Well, they're at it again, folks. Not only that, but there's even a new Halloween flavor! I know you're itching to find out about both!

The straws this year are a mixed bag. We only get one sculpt, with multiple colours. However, the sculpt is pretty badass, which is saying a lot considering that I'm talking about a hard plastic straw. What we get this year happens to be a transparent skull, with a large, coloured brain inside. Showing how evolution had been mean to this ancient humanoid, his brain is so large it pokes out both sides of his head. I count say this beats last year's heart or pop-up skeleton, but you takes what you gets. Or not.

I don't remember if 7-11 had a Hallow's Eve-exclusive slurpee flavor last year, but that's probably because I was too captivated with the expensive straws to really look...or it is out of my flavor range. For your information, my flavor range looks like this:

F4(Hi)...Dr. Pepper
F3...Root Beer
F2...Vanilla
F1...Pepsi
F0(Neutral)...Coke
F-1...Grape
F-2...Mountain Dew
F-3...Pretty much everything else
F-4(Low)...Darth Dew

This new flavor falls squarely in F3. Yes, it's Barqs root beer. But what's Halloweeny about this root beer? It's WHITE!

According to the accompanying machine promo: "We scared the brown out of the root beer". Of course, this would indicate that soft drinks can become pale...and feel fear. I'm not sure what 7-11 has that can possibly scare an inanimate substance, but man, it must be scary.