Monday, August 28, 2006

More useless things to do


Mad Monkey MONDAY: Super Monkey Brawl

Yes, Mad Monkey Day has been moved to something more acronym-friendly. Blame it on trying something new, and lazieness.

Now, for this weeks MMM, I present to you the 5 best Nintendo monkeys who could appear in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Who will join Donkey Kong in the inevitable monkey conquest?

1. Diddy Kong

DK's sidekick from the Donkey Kong Country games. Pretty damn likely at this point.

2. Donkey Kong Junior

Mini-monkey who starred in his own arcade game where he saved papa DK from that punk Mario. Screw Rare's retcons, this monkey is not the current DK!

3. Dixie Kong

Simian sidekick to Diddy with a mean ponytail. The idea that she could be paired with Diddy as a manic monkey mob is not my first choice, but it could be something cool.

4. Salsa

One of the several playable characters in Mother 3, the why-the-Hell-hasn't-this-come-here-yet sequel to Earthbound.

5. Detective Chimp

Okay, not really. I just like throwing Detective Chimp on my blog as much as possible. "Everyone sucks but me!"

Real 5. Fire Monkey from Pokemon Diamond & Pearl

The monkey has fire...on HIS ASS! To Hell with Charmander, you can't find a better Fire starter than this one. I don't feel the need to find it's real name.

The baboon featured in the Zelda: Twilight Princess demos.
Ukiki, the hat-stealing bastard from Super Mario 64.
Swanky Kong, because he's a game show monkey.
Goku, the star of Nintendo's Yuu Yuu Ki, the Japanese-only NES adaptation of the ancient Asian folk tale of the monkey king(not the DBZ guy)

3rd Party monkey of choice:
AiAi from Super Monkey Ball

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Sunday, August 27, 2006

Lazy Sunday Post


Monday, August 21, 2006

The Good Plug

Okay, recently I had a little situation. Months ago I posted the Unified Crossover History of the Universe on a message board, an article written by a Mr.Timeshredder at his Utherworld site, and I forgot to link back to the original site. Well, Timeshredder found out, and he was not too happy about it(which is completely reasonable. As I found out through e-mail conversation with him, other people have posted it and claimed it as their own.) I apologized to him for this, but I still kinda feel bad about the whole thing. So, to make me feel like I have fixed this whole mess once and for all, I am going to plug Timeshredder's excellent site.

Again, the site is located at:

It's definetly a recommended read, not only for the highly entertaining Timeline of the Universe(it's especially so if you are well-versed in all manners of Sci-Fi, Comics, Fantasy, and cartoons), but also for it's big list of comic book crossovers(with pictures!), retcon files, an article connecting nearly everything to Scooby-Doo, and various reviews. So, yeah, visit it.

More Good Crossover Reading!'s Crossovers and Spin Offs Master Page-Tons and tons of TV crossovers(even really small ones) are recounted.

The Unofficial Comics Crossover Index-Not updated anymore, but still a great site with very in-depth reviews of DC and Marvel's various big events that have taken place over the years.


Thursday, August 17, 2006

I was such a crazy little bastard: Part THE SECOND!

It seems odd, really, that I created so many comics, and yet hardly any of them were mainstream-style superhero tales. It's not that I wasn't exposed to them when I was a kid(I'm pretty sure I had healthy doses of Batman and Spider-Man, like any good North American kid), I guess I never was inspired to create a 'normal' costumed crime fighter at any point, I'd rather just stick to the more unorthodox stuff(I'm really not all that different now.) On the rare time a made a superhero-style comic, it really was in that much-favored unorthodox manner.

Take, for example, one of my favorite childhood creations can be described as a superhero comic, albeit one that eschews any sense of normalcy. The setting: A gigantic house world. The citizens of this world: Living food and various animals(see a theme in my stuff?), some that have had their sizes fluctuate so that they match the size of the food people. The heroes: A sugar cube with arms and legs, an orange ball-thing who lives in a teacup adorned with a goofy smirk and legs for walkin', a fire breathing turtle, and a seal. Their goal: to defend the food people from threats of varying nature and lameness, the main foe being a militaristic cockroach and his army of helmet-sporting bugs, but they also made time to fight giant Jell-O Fish(yes, Jell-O fish) and insane kitchen utensils. I did mention that this was unorthodox, didn't I?

Where did such an idea come from? Well, I based many of the concepts on an obscure NES game called Panic Restaurant, but the main idea came from The Simpsons, but in a weird way. Twas the episode Two Dozen and One Greyhounds, where Santa's Little Helper gets a gal pal and then puppies. During the birth of the puppies, the Simpsons family begins placing them in various things around the kitchen. During a very, very short non-gag, three puppies are placed in adjacent spice containers, labeled "Sugar", "Tea", and "Coffee". At that moment, in my juvenile mind:

Little Overworked Author in my Head: ...Sugar...Tea...Coffee. Sugar, Tea, Coffee. Wait....Sugar, Tea, Coffee. Hehe. Sugar, Tea, Coffee. very well. In that sequence. HAHAHAHA! SUGAR, TEA, COFFEE! YES! I CAN FINALLY REST AND EAT SOLID FOOD!

And thus, I started to think how to follow-up such a brilliant sequence of words. So after much pondering, I decided to tack on one final thing to the title: "and Creme". "Sugar, Tea, Coffee, and Creme" has a nice ring to it, does it not? And the rest of the concept just built up around the name. That's normal creative process for me.

The basic concept was first used in a videogame design, but later moved on to a comic. For whatever reason, the comic did not carry over the major villain of their second video game, the guy who actually owns the house. Don't know why he was so against living food and tiny animals living in his house, but it could easily explained by "He's nuts". That would also explain why he created a lava monster(???) that dwells underneath his house. Crazy people tend to do stuff like that.

I can't remember much in the way of storylines for this series, but you can't really expect complex, multi-layered story arcs from it, can you? I remember the first issue had the team facing their worst fears after the good ol' Cockroach Captain looked in their diary. I also remember the storyline about the gigantic Jell-o Fish wreaking havoc and stuff. But...that's about. There must've been some classic material in there, because this was basically my flagship title for a year, before I moved on to other things. Maybe they won't so memorable after all. If I never find those dusty old printer papers stapled together crudely, with poorly-crafted images and illegible text on them in blue and black ink, I'll be sure to scan-em'-up for all to see (Although, who actually wants to see them? show of hands...)

And thus concludes another edition. See ya' soon.


Saturday, August 12, 2006

I was such a crazy little bastard: VOLUME ONE!

As promised, I will now present the first of many articles where I look over some of the stuff I created when I was a kid and rip it to shreds with my vicious wit. I am hoping this is entertaining to you, because I will sure be having a ball. Of course, if you don't like, then you can instead read informative article on wheat.

It is quite common for me to latch onto any given idea and use it in my creations, whether it be real or not. One such idea, told to me by a friend in the first grade, was that the Earth would eventually spiral into the sun("some scientists said it, apparenty. Not to say that they didn't, I'm just too lazy to search for who, and where, and why and all that kinda stuff.) Usually any kid who hears about unfounded doomsday theories would cry for the next couple days thinking about it until they found a shiny new bauble or something, but not me. I was intrigued, and decided that would make a cool comic, despite the prospect of complete obliteration.

Of course, writing a comic about the Earth spiraling into the sun wouldn't be very entertaining, now would it? It would be a page long. So, I had to spice it up with what you might call a story, albeit, a stupid one. Yeah, some humans escaped from Earth in a gaggle of space ships(in the original comic, one drawn to look like a Quail head. I was obsessed with quails at the time, don't ask me why.), but more importantly all the animals miraculously didn't do the logical thing and get wiped out of existence, but instead survived and began floating in space(I always stuck to reasoning "for some reason".) In true Kirby fashion, the animals are bombarded with space radiation and then crash land on an asteroid which to their convience, had ecosystems similar to those on Earth(isn't that always the case? Especially on things that couldn't possibly host such systems due to lack of atmosphere, lack of water, etc.) However, getting a bath of radiation changed them. Some of them gained the ability to speak like humans(which language? Errr...Does everyone understand Italian?), whilst others were mutated into horrible monsters, even though they were pretty nice overall. These critters, along with the handful of things that already lived on the rock for whatever reason, decided to claim the whole shebang as there own. It's amazing how much the animal kingdom resembles us.

Oh, right, remember those humans that survived? They eventually find the asteroid, too. As any good, red-blooded human, they attempt to take the planet in the name of...themselves. A war breaks out between the humans and mutant animals...and all the humans die. Yep, I was a bright and happy kid. After that bloodbath, thwe animals sit back in their lawn chairs and get ready for a long period of domination..until the asteroid hits something, which asteroids tend to. But that ain't all, folks.

Now, remember, I have always been enamored with crossovers. I liked imagining having my favorite TV characters meeting, have a misunderstanding and fight, and then come together to face the [i]real[/i] enemy. You may wonder where I'm going with this, but you'll see. Oh how you'll see.

The next part of the saga is by far the most seems that animation cells(!) survived the end of the Earth(!!) and is doused with the same cosmic radiation as the animals(!!!), thus bringing the characters to life(WTF??!?!). They land on the Asteroid(convience strike thrice!), and unlike their fleshy forebearers, are able to make a truce with the animals and begin to rebuild civilization. Yep, so afterwards all the stories revolved around their copyright-infringing escapades. Over the time I interjected several of my own creations into the storylines and attempted to create a mythology behind them. But, is a mythology behind a story featuring mutated animals and cartoon characters come to life really a mythology worth having?

The idea of the series is one that I've kept all these years, only doing some necessary alterations to add some logic and take out anything capable of inspiring a lawsuit. At first, I transplanted a couple of the stories and characterizations into more original settings. That ultimately led to me create other series and characters, and ultimately those took over as my main series, making the original idea for the series obsolete. After so many years, it was finally put to rest. Well...not really. It has actually been completely overhauled: new format, new story, new characters(some from the past series have been revamped and transfered to other places, others are still lingering in the archives), and a whole new outlook. What a grand my standards, anyway.

And there's the first installment. Bringing you another very soon!


Thursday, August 10, 2006

Hey there People, I'm Bobby Brown

Last week a friend and I traded some CDs for a while...and this deal got me my first taste of Frank Zappa(from the Best Of disc). I really, really enjoy this music, it's just so different from everything else being released in all four decades he existed as a musical artist. Chalk it up as another inspiring discovery in my life.

(P.S.: Before hounding me on making a big deal about 'discovering' a very old artist, I am both a music rookie and I needed something to post about. Just, for the sake of goodness, listen to Muffin Man.)

In other news, the other day I was thinking about the past. I do this alot, and this time was not special in any way, but whatever. This year has had me looking back at everything I created when I was younger. I really did like to make stuff in those years(Really hasn't changed much), whether it was stories, comics, or video games. The concepts of these ideas were never original, and on many an occasion I based them around copyrighted materials(whatever stuff I fancied at the time). The best of these has stayed around and adapted...although it was really only one, and it has had a pretty crazy evolution.

But left behind were some pretty decent ideas...and when I say 'decent', I mean 'completely stupid and ripe for ridicule'. Yes, I actively make fun of my own childhood fantasies and scribbles. Really, if you did it too, you'd see how vastly entertaining it is. Since I was always creating things, I have lots of material to insult like Don Rickles on speed.

Yes, I think I will spend the next couple of nights doing just that(and this time I PROMISE!) This could be considered self-indulgent, but it's all the name of entertainment! I really hope you enjoy it as much as me. Just check back here...Saturday seems free. Ciao!

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Friday, August 04, 2006

Grudge Match

Hot on the heels of last year's Apocalypse vs. Dracula by Marvel and King Arthur vs. Dracula by some company nobody cares about, comes Dracula vs. Capone by some company you don't care about, thus continuing the tradition of having Dracula fight other famous people, fictional or not! This can only mean that my future comic pitches for Abraham Lincoln vs. Dracula, Jesus vs. Dracula, and Muhammed Ali vs. Dracula will be unmitigated successes! And once those gets off the ground, I'll be able to finance my brainchild: Dracula vs. Dracula!

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Wednesday, August 02, 2006


There comes a time when you realize that you very little to say anymore. Yes, that is my excuse for not updating for a good week. I have been doing very few other things, and during these long, beautiful summer days, it's particularly frustrating. But you gotta take what life gives you, and if you don't like it, you crumple it up and throw it back at life. This may make life, mad, so be ready torun the opposite direction as fast as possible.

I recently purchased a used copy of the SNES classic Actraiser, and was actually planning on writing an article about it. When I went down to the keyboard to type it out...gone. All inspiration vanished. Jokes about God hating cacti and that stupid-ass kid Teddy was all that I could think of, and that's from a good piece. Maybe I will revisit Actraiser one day, when I have a good idea. It would be like my Christmas and Birthday presents to you, the readers.

I really wish there was some way to block Super Smash Bros. out of my mind for the next couple months. All this brainstorming and anticipation is killing me.

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