Saturday, December 31, 2005

Too Kay Six

Miraculous, meandering, momentous New Years to all those 2 people who read this.

Friday, December 30, 2005

Teh Rapture

Sometimes, you just need to read about lunatic apocalypse theories to brighten your day.


Sometimes, you just find stuff that is completely beyond description. This is one of those things.

Thursday, December 29, 2005


Another bout of random junk:

*What Superfriends would look like if it starred South Park characters. You know you wanna watch.

*The Simpsons Season 7 DVD features commentary by Jeff Goldblum (on episode 3F15 'A Fish Called Selma', AKA the one where Selma marries Troy McClure). It's recommended to all those who worship Jeff Goldblum, who we know are out there.

*I used to play Wizkid's Heroclix quite a bit, but stopped due to lack of locations to find product and lack of anybody to play against. But I still pay attention to the new releases and such. I just found this really cool.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

"Oh, wait, that's The Lion King"

Saw the new Doctor Who last night (thank the lord that CBC and BBC are like, this). Good episode, like the new guy playing the Doctor, his wackiness differs him from past actors, and yet he still ends up working as the serious Sci-Fi hero in the end. Can't wait for the new season to start. Cccccccccccccccccybermen!

In other news: I really ought to be spending my money, but I'm not. Something's terribly wrong.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas Jerkwads

Hope you had/have a nice time today. I did.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Childhood Anemia

You know what? Fuck you, Digimon. I spent 3 years of my childhood watching your damn stupid show and buying your damn stupid merchandise. I still remember almost everything about your damn stupid mythology, God knows why. And then, years later, it dawned on me:

I let The Simpsons go over my head. I let Animaniacs go over my head. But there is absolutely no way IN HELL I'm gonna let you get away with throwing a reference like that over my head. You'll get yours, ohhhhh how you will.

Secret History Revealed!

What history books WON'T tell you: War in feudal Japan included the use of giant pinballs.

Okay, maybe not. But I do love that box art. It's reminescent of old NES stuff, and the overdramatization of the ludicrous event on the cover just sells it. I was planning on playing it anyway (Strategy-Pinball is a concept that I personally cannot ignore), but this is just a bonus. However, the use of a microphone is news to me. I thought they were going to use the DK Bongos...

Friday, December 23, 2005

OMG Dead Girl Mini-Series!

I loved Peter Milligan and Mike Allred's X-Statix series from Marvel when it was rolling a few years back. So, I was very happy to see this:

Wizard has a preview up. Simply amazing.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Brainstorming Affects your Brain

So, walking home with my friends tonight, we pass a park hill. One of my friends mentions how awesome it would be if we saw zombies in that park, ran to his house, grabbed some large weapons, called all our other friends over, and went on a zombie killing spree, climaxing with us fighting the zombies on the hill until the redness of dawn. When the re-killing ends, he stuffs a stogie in his mouth, looks to the camera and says " PIECES!".

This has actually given me a good idea for a movie. Stay with me on this:It would be about a group of action movie junkies who fight off a new invasion of generic movie villain hordes(whether they be zombies, aliens, robots, ninjas, or vampires) every day for one week. Every battle would end up on a hill during dawn, and after the foe is slain, one of them turns to the camera and says a stupid one-liner. The whole movie will be filled with parody and cheesy dialogue only Michael Bay could love. It would basically be one giant geekgasm in-joke.

Okay, I don't know how well it would hold up as a hour-and-a-half movie, but it could make a good short or TV episode/special. It might not even be a good idea at all. Atleast the head juice is flowin', right? Right.

Quotes of the day
"What is this, a democracy?"-My friend, Bryce, repeating something he said this morning when another one of my friends declined to walk with him.

"I...can't roll my DICE!"-Bryce, again, impersonating a helpless old lady when he learned that my friend Gibby might not be going to his volunteer work at the old folk's home(where, apparently, they play alot of board games) this week. Try to imagine an old black Georgian woman saying it for an extra bang for your buck.

Quickie Newbitzzzzz

Al Sharpton not continuing with his sitcom :(
Come on Al, I'd watch it.

The Saga of Toga the baby penguin may be over, as his apparent kidnapper has informed the zoo owner that Toga is dead and stuffed in a plastic bag
I just caught this story. It's sad, because it's a baby penguin, and they rock.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Message Board Post Teh Funnay

Taken from this thread from CHUD:

Because showing gay people on a screen - even straight actors pretending to be gay - causes particles known as neutrino-homosexualis (commonly referred to as "queer spore") to be released into the atmosphere. These indestructible particles then drift on the wind, attracted to warmth, bright colours or tasteful interior design. Anyone inhaling, swallowing or even looking at "queer spore" then becomes incrementally more gay via exposure.You know when sunlight comes through the window, and you can see tiny motes floating lazily in the beam? QUEER SPORE. You know when you rub your eyes really hard, and you can see colours and shapes swimming in your field of vision? QUEER SPORE. You know when you open an old book, and it's covered in a powdery residue? You think that's "dust"? Wrong.QUEER SPORE.It's a well known fact that the vacuum cleaner was actually invented as a way to stem the spread of the gay plague.So in other words, if Liberal Hollywood keeps on acknowledging the existence of filthy, filthy homos by showing images of them on large screens, eventually everyone in the world WILL BE GAY.Do you want that? Do you? DO YOU?

Monday, December 19, 2005

It's the most random ever!

I posted this on a message board on Saturday, in some sort of 'random post' constest.

Samuel Jackson is the leader of the mole people who have a secret plant to create a giant Baskin Robbins that will turn every Orthodox Jew and Shark trainer into wooden wombats unless Michae Stipe, Invader ZIM, and the reincarnated head of George Jefferson find the golden Tang pouch which when combined with a picture of a whale in the sky, the first issue of Cat Fancy, a steel rolling pin, and the Book of Mormon creates a giant robot in the shape of a double stuff oreo cookie who will proceed to fly into space, find the nearest 7-11 and buy three bags of nachos and some old brownies, which he will stuff into a crater on the moon, thus summoning the digruntled spirit of FuManChu, who will go on a rampage when he paints Jimmy Carter's fence. Jimmy will call FuManChu a Chazzwozzer and will be turned into a Ivory-billed woodpecker by the ancient God of Apple computers, and is banished to the living island of Krakatoa so he could wrestle in a ring made out of recycled tin cans and goat milk against Ric Romero, in which the victor will acquire a laserdisc copy of Eraserhead which when put in the last jukebox from the year 1972 will create a field of cheese that will cause Samuel Jackson to become addicted to McGrittles, ruining the mole people's plans once and for all.

I think now I should've ended it with: and thus saving Christmas.


Well, I found an awesome video for you to waste time watching


I love Ebert Movie Logic

I am a regular reader of Roger Ebert's movie review, and I really do appreciate his talent as a review writer. I may not agree with him all the time, but atleast he does a good job explaining why or why not he liked/didn't liked certain movies. Sometimes he even makes some excellent points. The following is a highlight from his 1997 review of Gamera: Guardian of the Universe, which he spends alot of time comparing to Air Force One, which came out around the same time:

There's a learning process that moviegoers go through. They begin in childhood without sophistication or much taste, and for example, like ``Gamera'' more than ``Air Force One'' because flying turtles are obviously more entertaining than United States presidents. Then they grow older and develop ``taste,'' and prefer ``Air Force One,'' which is better made and has big stars and a more plausible plot. (Isn't it more believable, after all, that a president could single-handedly wipe out a planeload of terrorists than that a giant turtle could spit gobs of flame?) Then, if they continue to grow older and wiser, they complete the circle and return to ``Gamera'' again, realizing that while both movies are preposterous, the turtle movie has the charm of utter goofiness--and, in an age of flawless special effects, it is somehow more fun to watch flawed ones.

Gamera is certainly <3ful. He's friend to all children.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Pure Linkage

Here's some sites you may want to visit. Or not:

iGod-You can have some pretty interesting conversations with 'God'. connections between seemingly unrelated things (Squirrel and Tire Iron, for example).

Uncyclopedia-It's been going 'round that Wikipedia is unreliable. That's because it's all lies. Find the truth at the Uncyclopedia.

Warning Label Generator-Make your own warning label for whatever toxic substances you stash in your basement.


Saturday, December 17, 2005

Joe Quesada >:(

The Marvel Universe Prepares For 'Civil War'

It's another 'mega event' from the House of Ideas. Let's see what our favorite EIC Joey Q has to say:

"This idea will affect all of the Marvel Universe if not all of comics when you come right down to it because it’s going to resonate with all our lives,”
You mean like Avengers: Disassembled and Secret War and House of M were supposed to?

"The storyline centers on a secret past that was supposed to stay hidden from even the most trained electric eyes in the sky."
Where have I heard of this before? Oh, right, EVERYWHERE!

"Quesada also told us previously that Civil War will match or exceed House of M in terms of scale"
That is a hard thing to do...

"but also in the number of tie-in specials, mini-series, and aftermath projects House of M entailed."

"Yeah, this is in many ways bigger than House of M,”
See my above sarcasmment.

Now, I'm not usually one of the major cross-over bemoaners (I'm quite enjoying Infinite Crisis), but with this, Planet Hulk and Annihilation, that's 3 major crossovers happening at the same time. That's not just overdoing it, it's overdoing the overdoing of it. And none of them really sound that interesting. It's made even worse by Quesada's obligatory overhyping and huckstering. The best thing I can say about this: It's being written by Mark Millar, so it probably won't go at a snail's pace like HoM did with Brian Bendis (it may work in Ultimate Spider-Man and Powers, Bendis, but it doesn't work everywhere.) It may even be a fun action story, but I highly doubt it'll be an event that makes you want to buy 5000 different comics to get the whole story.

Sorry, Marvel, I'm not interested. I think I'll stick to She-Hulk and Runaways.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Various Updates of No Importance

I've been having King Kong rammed into my psyche for so long, last night I dreamt about the damn monkey. Goddamn marketeers, get out of my head!

On Sunday, I bought an official DS Wi-Fi Dongle, so now I can go against the world in Mario Kart. And lose. When I get Animal Crossing, though, it'll be revenge time. Protect your trees.

Holidays, Christmas, Holidays...oops, I should've wished you a happy Monkey Day yesterday, shouldn't I? Well, happy belated Monkey Day.


Thursday, December 08, 2005

Revolution #9

May 2005, E3: Nintendo unveils their new console, the Revolution. Console design was sleek, announcement of normal sized discs intrigued, and the prospect of being able to download every game from Nintendo's past consoles caused a massive flood of saliva. Still, the controller was missing, and it harbored the Revolution's secret weapon.

September 2005: Nintendo unveils the controller, which ditches standard design for a remote with several possible attachments. Fanbase was split: Several liked the new direction, several wannabe prophets predicted Nintendoom. Apparently, there is still another secret concept in the Revolution's arsenal. We still don't know what that is.

December 2005: Rumor sources indicated that the Revolution will use slightly weaker graphical resources, in order to make the system more affordable. Not as much a controversy as the controller announcement, but it did bring up the 'Style vs. Substance' debate.

As you can see, Nintendo has done some very pleasing things for the people (downloading games, shift to hefty online support), and many things that confused and even angered some (controller, graphics). Is it really worth it to try and be different in this day and age? Microsoft's 360 has recently been released, not straying far from it's predecessor. Sony's PS3 looms ahead like an army of vikings in the sunset, not only packing it's popular brand and it's constant support from 3rd parties, but also the most powerful visual processors of the trio, a tantalizing collection for game players of all shades of devotion (even if statements from Sony's main game man indicates that the system may cost upwards of $700.)Can the Revolution stand a chance? Some of Nintendo's statements indicate that it's not even trying to compete with the other two.
Which makes sense. If the controller makes it so the Revolution hosts more of it's own games(rather than ports from the others), and coupled with the cheap price, it sounds like it would be a good companion to one of the other two consoles rather than being a player's exclusive machine. Your 360/PS3 gets the big-named, mainstream titles, and your Revolution gets the smaller, quirky titles. A balanced gaming diet, with the added bonus of having access to a plethoa of NES, SNES, & N64 titles for the dry seasons.
But it's trully hard to say at this point whether or not the Revolution ends up being a remora. We've yet to see any games shown, and have not seen how third parties will support the console, if they support it at all. We still haven't seen what the third major 'innovation'of the console (some speculate 3D projections, but it's a little hard for me to believe, since if such technology existed in a way that is impressive at all, I would have heard of it being implemented elsewhere.) Maybe the Revolution does have a chance at being a great standalone console. It's still pretty much up in the air.
My opinion on the subject? I was one of the defenders of the controller, as after doing a bit of thinking, I can say that the basic set-up (the remote and seperate analog stick attachment, aka the 'Nunchaku') will work well with many games, including First-person shooters (where the remote will aim, and the analog stick will allow you to move and perform secondary actions), and the possibility of other attachments expands the possibilites to mammoth amounts. And if you aren't really up for waving the damn thing around, there will be a 'normal controller' shell for the console as well (probably to help you play the downloadable games). And the graphics...well, I don't really notice them all that much, and unless they end up so terrible they interfer with my playing experience, I don't think I'll notice them here. I think my biggest fear for it is the possibility of lack of 3rd party games (again), as it may force them to be creative, which several publishers and developers are not willing to do.
In the end, however, I'm still buying the syste. It has an online Smash Brothers sequel. That sells it for me, for I am a sucker.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

December 14th is Monkey Day


Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Mario Kart DS

I've owned Mario Kart DS for about 3 weeks now. Unlocked most everything, including special guest R.O.B. the muthafucking robot. Haven't tried the online mode yet, but I hope to join the MK populace in a month or two (atleast so I can also go on with Animal Crossing: Wild World). Even so, MKDS' got lot's of great single player meat. Unlocking the aformentioned secret characters as well as karts, trying to beat all the objectives in the neat little mission mode (a great edition to the series) and then try to get perfect scores on those missions will keep you busy for a while. Even better, the new courses are pretty cool, and they even included 4 courses from all the past Mario Karts. And the game also looks very pretty.

I recommend that you all buy it. Like, now.

Link of the day: Beacoup Kevin -A comic-book centered blog. Funny stuff, especially 'Otter Prime'.

Monday, December 05, 2005

New Sitcom May be Quite 'Sharp'...heheh

Rev.Al Sharpton is in talks with CBS to do his own sitcom

NEW YORK -- He didn't make it to the White House, but the Rev. Sharpton may soon beam into your house on a regular basis.
Phew, for a second there I thought they meant he was going to materialize in my house on a regular basis via some secret "Star Trek" technology, or wizardry. I never would have enough ham sandwhiches.

Sharpton, a New York Democrat known for his civil rights work, political aspirations and love of the cameras, is in talks with CBS to do his own sitcom.
Apparently, CBS' current demographic of old white people isn't giving them a leg up in the ratings, so now they are trying to attract a new audience of old black people

Sharpton confirmed to the New York Daily News that one episode may revolve around one of his TV children becoming a Republican.
I personally can't wait for Limbaugh to star in a rebuttal episode, where one of his kids becomes a 'tree-huggin', pinko lib'rul

The sitcom has a working title of "Al in the Family."
Oh! It's like "All in the Family", only with "Al" instead of "All"! I chortle at it's cleverness.

And thus concludes today's "stupidly funny news story".

Saturday, December 03, 2005

International Squirrel Rampage

I keep hearing stories about squirrels in the news. For example.

What could possibly spurring such ferocity from our bushy-tailed friends? Is this a sign of the apocalypse? Are the squirrels starting a furry uprising? Or are they just emulating Magic: The Gathering?

Friday, December 02, 2005

Even in my dreams the commercials suck

I'm going to have to work again tonight, so don't expect anything major from me.

However, I had another one of those trippy dreams again last night. In that episode, I was watching TV (Saturday morning TV, for whatever reason), and it cut to a commercial where two disembodied children's voices described the scenes of a locust-esque swarm of elderly in a churchyard reducing others caught in their path into a pile fleshless corpses. My dreamself then proclaimed "That was really stupid!". Glad to hear I have good taste in my dreams.


Thursday, December 01, 2005

The Holiday season is NOW

Today being the 1st of December, I now prepare for the white-colored holiday madness. Jesus/Pagan day, Jewish candle week, and Kwanzaa are finally upon us.

Link of the Day:
Operation Clam Bake-Undressing the Church of Scientology-Interesting stuff, right here.