Saturday, August 12, 2006

I was such a crazy little bastard: VOLUME ONE!

As promised, I will now present the first of many articles where I look over some of the stuff I created when I was a kid and rip it to shreds with my vicious wit. I am hoping this is entertaining to you, because I will sure be having a ball. Of course, if you don't like, then you can instead read informative article on wheat.

It is quite common for me to latch onto any given idea and use it in my creations, whether it be real or not. One such idea, told to me by a friend in the first grade, was that the Earth would eventually spiral into the sun("some scientists said it, apparenty. Not to say that they didn't, I'm just too lazy to search for who, and where, and why and all that kinda stuff.) Usually any kid who hears about unfounded doomsday theories would cry for the next couple days thinking about it until they found a shiny new bauble or something, but not me. I was intrigued, and decided that would make a cool comic, despite the prospect of complete obliteration.

Of course, writing a comic about the Earth spiraling into the sun wouldn't be very entertaining, now would it? It would be a page long. So, I had to spice it up with what you might call a story, albeit, a stupid one. Yeah, some humans escaped from Earth in a gaggle of space ships(in the original comic, one drawn to look like a Quail head. I was obsessed with quails at the time, don't ask me why.), but more importantly all the animals miraculously didn't do the logical thing and get wiped out of existence, but instead survived and began floating in space(I always stuck to reasoning "for some reason".) In true Kirby fashion, the animals are bombarded with space radiation and then crash land on an asteroid which to their convience, had ecosystems similar to those on Earth(isn't that always the case? Especially on things that couldn't possibly host such systems due to lack of atmosphere, lack of water, etc.) However, getting a bath of radiation changed them. Some of them gained the ability to speak like humans(which language? Errr...Does everyone understand Italian?), whilst others were mutated into horrible monsters, even though they were pretty nice overall. These critters, along with the handful of things that already lived on the rock for whatever reason, decided to claim the whole shebang as there own. It's amazing how much the animal kingdom resembles us.

Oh, right, remember those humans that survived? They eventually find the asteroid, too. As any good, red-blooded human, they attempt to take the planet in the name of...themselves. A war breaks out between the humans and mutant animals...and all the humans die. Yep, I was a bright and happy kid. After that bloodbath, thwe animals sit back in their lawn chairs and get ready for a long period of domination..until the asteroid hits something, which asteroids tend to. But that ain't all, folks.

Now, remember, I have always been enamored with crossovers. I liked imagining having my favorite TV characters meeting, have a misunderstanding and fight, and then come together to face the [i]real[/i] enemy. You may wonder where I'm going with this, but you'll see. Oh how you'll see.

The next part of the saga is by far the most seems that animation cells(!) survived the end of the Earth(!!) and is doused with the same cosmic radiation as the animals(!!!), thus bringing the characters to life(WTF??!?!). They land on the Asteroid(convience strike thrice!), and unlike their fleshy forebearers, are able to make a truce with the animals and begin to rebuild civilization. Yep, so afterwards all the stories revolved around their copyright-infringing escapades. Over the time I interjected several of my own creations into the storylines and attempted to create a mythology behind them. But, is a mythology behind a story featuring mutated animals and cartoon characters come to life really a mythology worth having?

The idea of the series is one that I've kept all these years, only doing some necessary alterations to add some logic and take out anything capable of inspiring a lawsuit. At first, I transplanted a couple of the stories and characterizations into more original settings. That ultimately led to me create other series and characters, and ultimately those took over as my main series, making the original idea for the series obsolete. After so many years, it was finally put to rest. Well...not really. It has actually been completely overhauled: new format, new story, new characters(some from the past series have been revamped and transfered to other places, others are still lingering in the archives), and a whole new outlook. What a grand my standards, anyway.

And there's the first installment. Bringing you another very soon!



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