RELIEF

At first I thought all this school shit was going to pile up and destroy me, but I feel I am on my way to conquering it. Hopefully it doesn't get nukes along the way.

What was released this week, videogame-wise? Why, Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe of course! Exciting.

As you may or may not know, I disdain all things MK. It's a series that has gone on for way too long, and has been consistently mediocre. Of course, I haven't played an iteration in the series since the fourth, so I am relying entirely on past experience and the word of others. But why should I play games I have no interest in? Plus, it's not like any of the lame conceptual things are getting any less lame.

MK vs. DC has a number of problems on its own without the added burden of being MK. The brand crossing is nonsensical, jarring even. It reeks of latching onto he coattails of better projects...better projects, I might add, that came out a decade ago. It's the last act of a desperate franchise.

I could mention that the game seems toned down in violence from previous MKs, disappointing the series' fanbase of drooling idiots, but I don't give a fuck.

But upon watching all the game's fatalities/"Heroic Brutalities" on Youtube (aw the modern wonders, allowing me to get the most enjoyable part of the game without having to spend any money on it), most of my preconceived notions seemed to be correct.

Another thing I noticed: what the hell is Captain Marvel doing there? I know DC wants him to be a banner character for them now, but jumping jack Jesus, he's so conceptually distant from the MK aesthetic, it's just plain bizarre. I mean, he is very much a character designed for children, even more so than any other DC character.

Also, while I for one love seeing Darkseid in a "real" fighting game (none of this JLA Task Force shit), it's too bad it's one I'll never play.


Speaking of comic book stuff...Watchmen trailer!

It's hard to pinpoint what I don't like about the new trailer. I don't even think I noticed Rorschach referring to the group as 'Watchmen' like others have. But it felt off. When the characters were speaking long strings of dialogue, it hurt my expectations. I, along with others, was growing more optimistic about the project. And while I'm not giving up on it yet, the newest previews leave me cold, definitely.

My biggest worries for this project is that it'll end up as being a lifeless recreation with details changed around (which isn't that big a problem, for the most part), completely lobotomizing the story. Some may say it's because Zack Snyder is a hack director who does the material for money. In my view, if the movie turns out this way, it won't be because Snyder is a hack, but rather that Snyder is a fanboy of the material, but for all the wrong reasons.

I mean, the reason Watchmen is partially responsible for destroying the mainstream comics scene is that fans that later became writers glommed onto the gritter elements but weren't smart enough to understand the themes.

But back to the movie, part of my fear comes from the absolutely ill-conceived Watchmen videogame.

Since I don't read EGM anymore, I didn't get the story on that. But from the excerpts and descriptions, it sounds like an abomination. Essentially taking the characters and putting them in a generic action game (complete with such horrific buzz concepts as finishing moves and a RAGE METER) under the guise of UNTOLD BACKSTORY! that no one wanted or needed.

Of course the game stars Rorschach. Aside from being the more violent/action-oriented character in the book, he's the one character who is misunderstood and will probably still be misunderstood by audiences (both the original readers and the ones brought in by the movie). They think he's a hardcore badass. He is really the representative of the logical extreme of vigilantism in superhero comics, turning into a simple-minded, Objectivist asshole. That's why he's a great character, but it's terrifying to see how some people would 'look up' to that.

The most unnerving part of the game, however, is that Snyder is right alongside the developers cheering them on. He apparently describes getting all hot and nerd bothered by seeing this stuff on screen. I'm sorry, but Watchmen really isn't something you can geek out to. Unless of course, you're one of the ones who loves it for all the wrong reasons.

Let us pray.