Thursday, January 03, 2008

This is the new post on this blog



This is a game called Growl, or Runark in Japan. It is yet another of the arcade beat-em-ups I do so adore. This one is particularly ridiculous, but in a good way. I will list the ways in which it is so:

-There are three types of enemies in the game: 1930s paperboys, businesswomen, and thuggees. That's it.
-This has some of the best, clearest voice acting of early games, albeit your characters sound like Garfield and the first thing you hear is an angry redneck, and later on one of the thuggees sounds like a gargling midget.
-As you can see from the above video, with the whip, you win. If you ever play this game, grab the whip. Who needs anything else?
-Bosses include a fat guy who throws a jeep at you, then 6 fat men with fezs, then the world's pussiest Jason Vorhees, 6 more fez-wearing fat men, an angry man who runs into a wall repeatedly, and three clones of the original jeep-carrying fat guy. All bosses explode after being defeated.
-Your characters are friends to all of God's creatures...except cave bats. Whip those bats to hell!
-The comical number of people who can be in one tank. Its like a clown car, without the clowns.
-The final boss is easily the best part of the game. Okay, first he's some hunched over guy wearing a tuxedo, a top hat, and a white mask, and he's carrying a tank. He has machine gun fingers, and a rocket launcher in his back. But even after defeating this monstrosity, it ain't over yet. As it turns out, the horrible superhuman freak was the vehicle for a...giant spinning worm. I love how the game informs you that this is the final boss, probably because you'd think that the joystick was secreting psychedelic drugs into your bloodstream and you're just hallucinating it.

In short, Growl is great and I love it with all my heart and soul.

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