Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Silly Picture, Silly Story: Round 2!

And as the day wore on, the terror and carnage in Neverland continued. Bubbles, finally fed up after being abandoned by his master and mistreated by those who followed, decided that enough was enough. He wanted to vent, to unload his vengeance unto the world that had been cruel towards him, an innocent victim of the highest caliber.

But in order to enact such a vengeance, he needed the right tools. So for many months, he toiled in his cage. Planning, mapping, constructing in his mind a weapon of immeasurable power. He formulated his designs, and using a secret underground passage he had the giraffes build for him, was able to send these plans to the only people he knew could them to reality: the Russians.

All according to plan, the Russians received Bubbles' designs. But could they trust a chimp? And a capitalist chimp at that? Upon reading Bubbles' articulate note to them, however, they realized that putting their trust in this capitalist ape would not only possibly benefit him personally, but could send a message to chimps-formely-owned-by-musical-artists everywhere: You don't have to take it, benefiting the world at large. And so they begun work on the weapon, and Bubbles grew ever closer to his final conquest.

And lo, the seed spawned from his many months of planning grew. The Russians took careful precautions to make sure their project would not be found out by any rival nations, as the discovery of such devastating technology could lead to another arms race. And when it was finished, tested to perfection, it was a sight to behold.

This had taken many a year, all of which Bubbles waited out patiently. He paced in his cage, and in his mind, back and forth, back and forth. Each new day he felt would be the day he lost his sanity. But his waiting bore the fruit he had savored for so long.

As the sun rose on yet another day on the ranch, Bubbles woke and expected nothing other than a day like those past. But as he prepared for the same boredom and anguish, he heard a sound. The sort of sound you'd expect from a large creature, but if you listened closely, you could make out something vaguely mechanical about it. At first, he thought nothing of it. "Must be some of my larger cellmates" he thought to himself. But the sound continued. And it was soon followed by the violent shaking of the ground. A grin crossed Bubbles face. The day had come.

Suddenly, a crash. Bubbles looked on to see what he had dreamed so long: His creation, bursting from the walls. The vehicle itself did not look that much different from any other tank ever made, with a tan paint finish that would not look out of place in a CNN retrospective of the Gulf War. But it was not the style of Bubbles' creation that was important, it was the delicious substance of which it contained.

The top doorway of the tank opened up, and peering through it was a nameless lackey sent by the Russians to ensure the safe delivery of the precious cargo.
"Comrade Bubbles, you're ride, and freedom, has arrived!" the Russian said to Bubbles.

Bubbles, now armed with his ultimate tool of revenge, sets to crush his oppressors and destroy the place that had brought him so much pain throughout the years. His successful revolution was mainly due to his creation's secret weapon: a stream of jellybeans (in every color of the rainbow) that leave nothing but rubble in their wake.

Free at last, Bubbles with his invincible engine of destruction sets his sights higher. He will rally the downtrodden, like he once was, and together they will break the ruling class, until no one will ever be oppressed again.




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