Tuesday, November 29, 2005

The Monster Society of Evil

As long as there've been superheroes, there have been supervillains. And what happens when a bunch of supervillians battle the same superhero? They unionize, of course. I mean, if one loser is defeated spectacularly time and time again, a team of losers will be able to...lose less spectacularly time and time again.
Today, I thought I'd go over one of these teams of nemisi. But I had to choose one that was different, possibly in both the good and bad sense. Then I came upon the Monster Society of Evil, and my search was over.
Who is the Monster Society of Evil? This motley bunch of weirdos banded together to attempt (and fail) to finally defeat their common enemy, our favorite red-clad magical hero, Captain Marvel. Led by Mr. Mind (a tiny worm from Venus...what?), they first appeared in Adventures of Captain Marvel #22 (March 1943), and over the years have been through a few different incarnations. Why exactly did I choose this team? Well, I mean, just look at their name. It's bad enough that they're monsters, even worse that they are a society(giving them full union benefits, like a dental plan. Those fiends). And then we find out their OF EVIL. That's a triple whammy right there. But even when you look past the name, we still have one of the weirdest batches of baddies you've ever seen. Let's take a peek at the roster:

*Black Adam: Okay, this guys a pretty good villain. Hell, he's been good enough to survive Captain Marvel's transfer to the DC Universe and become a central figure in the current Infinite Crisis affair. We should really give Adam here the applause he richly deserves.

*Captain Nazi: You know who you're dealing with if his name's Captain Nazi. I mean, you don't just go around with the name Captain Nazi and expect people to think you're a proper buddhist. Subtelty is obviously not this bloke's specialty. But it doesn't matter, because he's a super-nazi. And he's shown up in Infinite Crisis as well. Being a Nazi captain gives you such bonuses.

*Crocodile Man: Apparently from another planet. You know, it seems really odd that other planets basically have the same species Earth does, and some of them just evolve to top position instead of monkeys. But thinking about it too much just hurts your ego. Look! One of those Crocodile Men thought it would be nice to dress formal for the occasion. That's the calling card of a planner.

*Dr.Sivana: AKA 'Token Evil Scientist'. He's even got the evil goggles and egg head and everything. Tsk tsk Doctor, you conformist,

*Dummy: I admit it, ventriloquist dummies can be scary. I really don't know if they'd be scary if I was Captain Marvel, but obviously dummy thinks so. More power to him.

*Evil Eye: It's a green generic monster...with hypnosis powers. There's a reason he's in the back.

*Goat-Man: Wait, doesn't this guy live in Washington?

*IBAC: Sold his soul to look like a circus strongman. Atleast have the decency to wear a matching vest with your black leather pants.

*Jeepers: Certainly the winner of villain with the least intimidating name. I would expect a giant bat creature to look creepy, not like a costumed mascot at an amusement park. Jeepers, Jeepers, you get a C-.

*King Kull: In this day and age of advanced supercomputers and ice dispensers built in the fridge, how exactly is a guy with a club an effective adversary, even if he is a king?

*Mr.Atom: He looks like a Go-Bot, or even a pneumatic drill, but I can certainly say Mr.Atom is one of the best members of the Monster Society, if only because he's the only robot. Robots are always better than everyone else. Always.

*Mr.Banjo: Now, you may think a villain who's armed only with a banjo is lame. But, really, Mr.Banjo has got to be one of the bravest people on Earth. I mean, would you try to piss off Captain Marvel if you only had a banjo? I salute you, Mr.Banjo, as you are a much more confident person than I.

*Mr.Mind:Here's the worm of the hour! You know, I remember back reading Toyfare, and it regularly featured Mr.Mind as a character in it's comic strips. He always ended up getting smished by Dr.Doom. That was funny. But let's back to normal continuity...Mr.Mind is a worm. From Venus. Who speaks in a megaphone necklace. Yeah....

*Mr.Who: Not be mistaken with Dr.Who, which isn't the name of the main character in that show. Mr.Who has a cloak, a beard, and some thick glasses. And that's about it. Atleast he's the most fashionable of the Society.

*Nippo: Oh boy, here's a character that'll never have a modern revival. I mean, he could be a lumberjack with those teeth.

*Nyola:The only female member of the team, and a sorceress to boot. It's gotta be tough being the only gal in a society. No one there to discuss...'personal issues'...and your the only one who doesn't want to watch monster truck rallies on TV. That's the tough life.

*Oggar:He's got a green robe. That's all I got.

*Oom: A big animated statue, like a robot, always gets props from me. So, I hereby declare Oom "Master of Awesome".

*Ramulus:Another token, this time a token alien warlord. He's mean, he's green, get used to it.

As you can tell, the Monster Society is quite clearly the greatest group of all time. You can't argue with that. Actually, you probably could, but I would never change my mind. Until I find something better...probably next week


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